Strumming from the Soul

The Notes

Xiang An aka Reaper
20 February 1992
Christian
That's really all there is to know about me

Echoes

Past Sounds

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The Music

Friday, June 06, 2008



Went to meet up with the IJ guides to discuss the next combined today. See Ming and Tseng were late, as usual. I was very early, so I waited outside for Zack before going in.

Basically, Zack did most of the discussing, I was just talking softly at the back. Haha. So after we had gotten the outline of the programme done, we just headed home.

Sheesh.

------

I wish I could go back in time. Then I could stop myself from sending that stupid msg 10 months ago. The one that caused me to feel so blessed only to break my heart.

I need someone to wipe those memories.

--Xiang An at 6:42 PM


Thursday, June 05, 2008

I can't do this anymore

UTC/PLTC 2008!

Was a really great experience, going through the camp from the camp staff perspective. Not easy, that's for sure. Being a cook was real tough. We were working from the time we woke to the time we slept. Giving food to the juniors to cook while preparing food for the camp staff.

Not to mention I made flour cake from spaghetti on day 4. My bad. Haha.

Dinner that night was the barbecue. It wasn't bad, at least we weren't the ones cooking, for a change.

After the camp, life went back to normal. If not, worse. It seems no matter how much I don't want to admit, sometimes goodbye is goodbye. Maybe we weren't meant to be together. I'm clueless to what she's thinking, I'm clueless about a lot of things. I just wish I knew what to do. This coldness sucks.

I feel miserable.

Life's getting so meaningless. I'm not being emo or anything, but I wish I had something to work for. I've lost all my motivation, lost someone close to me. I'm drifting away from everything and I have no idea how to fight the current.

Somebody tell me what to do.

Life goes on, but can I forget those 8 months? The sweetness of those memories, the happiness and warmth we shared. Now there's nothing but loneliness and heartache.

I don't know how other people deal with it, I guess my own fear of failing again is holding me back. I'm afraid to go on, afraid to get hurt again, I just want things to go back to how they were before.

Maybe I'm being naive and stubborn.

Life sucks.

--Xiang An at 3:24 PM